Have Penis, Will Paint

Tim Patch can get it up to do you... on the canvas

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A 56-year-old Australian can do more with his penis than anybody else in the world. Well, maybe except his friend, Justin Morley, who uses his as a puppet and creates everything from the Eiffel Tower, the Loch Ness Monster to hamburgers and hot dogs.

Tim Patch was among the starting acts at Sexpo, a four-day erotic festival held in Sydney. His unique and interesting approach to art consists in being able to paint almost anything using as brush his own penis. Although a modest man, Patch likes to be called 'Pricasso' and admits that he might be the only 'penile artist' in the world. And, if he's not the only one, he surely is the greatest.

His paintings sell at a fairly peppered price starting from around $250 and the artist brags that his clients always leave his shop 'completely satisfied'. Patch is, in his everyday life, a happily married man and proud father of four children, who compensates his 'meager income as a struggling artist' by doing construction work.

His secret? Never get too excited. 'There is a limit to how long one can paint for, especially on canvas. I take the performance very seriously. It is entertainment. Erotic, yes, but non-sexual. It's a gift, it's art', Tim said on his official website.

But life as a 'penile' painter has its downside, too, as Patch himself confesses. Sometimes, his 'brush' can become irritated from the rough canvas, so he had to switch to paper and, later on, to smooth canvas for a better effect. From here on, the procedure is rather simple: 'I dip it in the paint and then apply it to the canvas'.

The only thing that still bothers him is the fact that most people don't believe that his paintings were created with the use of his penis. But he already figured that one out: 'Now I video tape all my work, because sometimes people don't believe me'.

If you still don't believe that penis painting is actually possible, you still have time to catch 'Pricasso' in his silver cape and hat, live at Sexpo. The exhibition opened on Thursday.

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