How to Become A Successful Slut

10 precious lessons from Paris Hilton

 
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Now, as you all 'slut-wanna-be's well know being a slut is no easy job. Yet Paris Hilton manages to deal so well with her slutiness. Let's take a look at her ways and doings and take notes. For your head not to hurt from too much info, we have summed it up as it follows:

Paris Hilton's 10 easy steps to slutiness

Step 1: Dress less
Anything that barely covers your body will do. If you just can't figure it out take some (no more than three!!!) handkerchiefs to a tailor and let him come up with a deux piece.

Step 2: Lose the undies
Real sluts never know who, when and where. It might happen. But once the underpants have gone, it WILL happen.

Step 3: Get out of cars
Once you've lost the undies, you should try to get out of as many cars as you can. And as often as possible.

Step 4: Get yourself sex-taped
This is a total must. Make sure your make-up is all right and try not to look at the camera all the time.

Step 5: "Lose" the sex-tape
Accidentally forget it somewhere, misplace it, or just throw it into the garbage can. Someone will find it and watch it. Just to make sure it doesn't go unnoticed, you might label it. Something not to obvious though. Instead of "sex-tape!!!" or "the two of us screwing each other's brains out", try something more alluring, like "nastyyy", "john and jane" or even better "important stuff".

Step 6: Have 5 dates in less than a month.

Make sure to show off all of them (one by one, of course) in public while wearing your Prada Chihuahua carrier. Make sure your doggy is inside the bag!!! Forgetting the dog at home might make people think you are a crack whore.

Step 7: Get a fiancé

Then lose the sucker! Dump him only after he gave you a very expensive ring. Keep the ring. Once reaching this step you are almost a slutty-slut.

Step 8: Get another almost to be fiancé

Make sure he is rich and a party animal. Then dump him. Say you have more important things to do in life than party your way to the grave and try to look serious while saying it.

Step 9: Go away to promote your album

Any respected slut MUST have some side-projects. Like TV shows and music albums.

Step 10: Now, that you finally ARE a slut, try to cover other areas:

… like creating a perfume. Promote it by going to different places. Very important reminder: make sure you step out of as many cars as possible without wearing underwear. Or, even better, star in a shitty horror movie. Make sure you get at least a sex scene and that you will get killed by the end of the movie.
Cha-cha.

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