Jordan Is Into "Sex with Nuns" Fantasies

And she really wants to share it all with us

  Separated at birth: Jordan
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Prepare, everyone, Jordan's mouth strikes again. No, don't go looking at me like that - and please notice I said "Jordan's mouth", not "Jordan's brain", for two reasons, mainly. One is that I have seen no evidence so far that Jordan actually has a brain (in fact, I have strong reasons to doubt there is a bundle of gray cells tucked away between her ears), and secondly, because when Jordan talks, her mouth seems to develop a will of its own. Again, no brain involvement.

The fact is, the blonde British bombshell strikes again and once again it's all about her sex life. Well, I suppose we do have to count husband Peter Andre in on this one, Jordan feels yet again the need to let us all know the extent to which she goes to please him. Only, really, and this time I'm serious - someone, please tell her that the world does not revolve around her sex life. Many people - actually, I dare say most people - do know what sex is, and they really like to keep their knowledge, insights and observations if not strictly to themselves, then at least out of the way of the whole wide world.

Jordan said that she likes to dress up for Peter Andre in order to spice up their sex life. "Our favorite thing at the moment is dressing up. I've been wearing a nun's outfit, which really turns him on. Maybe he likes it as I look all pure and virginal". Um, no offense to anyone but really...pure and virginal? Who does she think she is, Mother Teresa? OK… bad example. But really, I have a hard time imagining how in any populated universe in the galaxy Jordan could ever, ever pass for someone who's at least 1% pure. Her foul mouth alone would take her off the list, not to mention other parts of her body.

The fact is, Jordan should really learn to disguise herself into someone who can effectively keep her mouth shut. Maybe a camel - or a penguin. Oh, no, the penguin would probably remind Pete of the nun. You pick your animal - and Jordan will do the rest, which is still strut and bitch around, but quietly.

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