Vivica Fox Performs Oral Sex Live on Tape

I really thought she was a little too old for the game... does that make me ageist?

  Nice boobs...
In case you're wondering about who Vivica Fox is (kidding) I'll start by reminding you that she was the first assassin that Uma Thurman kicked the hell out of in Kill Bill vol.1. I was joking - I know you all know who Vivica is, and if you do, then you're probably also aware of the fact that her career hasn't been what it used to be three or four years ago.

Unfortunately, acting in a Tarantino movie does not guarantee the actor (or in this case, actress) has some serious brains. Yes, I know, there goes another one of my childhood dreams destroyed. Well, as my mother used to say, you can't have everything in life. Why am I saying these horrible things about Vivica, you'll ask? No, I'm not just being mean -but because news has come out about this lady having joined the long list of celebrities with sex tapes.

Yes, I know, it seems hard to believe, but it's apparently true. Vivica was caught on tape performing oral sex on a so-called friend. Ouch! I think it's very funny how these guys (why is it always the guys who leak, sell or show off the sex tapes, by the way? Kidding) that leak sex tapes are always referred to as "friends" of the ladies in question.

So, the story goes that this "friend" that Vivica was helpfully servicing (see what an elevated expression I used there for giving him a blow job?) while she was in Atlanta a while back took advantage of the fact that the actress was drunk and filmed the whole episode with his camera phone. And since he just couldn't keep the whole thing a secret just between himself and his penis, he decided to send the video to his friends.

What I can't figure out is why he would do that - send the tape in question to his friends. No, really, it seems like such a stupid move. He could have just uploaded it on the Internet, or else bragged about it without showing it - but just sending it, just like that, it sounds absurd. I'm curious - how did that email sound? Was it something like "hey, this is me having my penis polished by Vivica. Lots of love to you"? Or maybe something more creative, like "hey, everybody, here's Vivica and me getting a little action... I can tell you, it sure felt hot". I'm obviously exaggerating here, but nevertheless, it still sounds completely screwed up.

The fact is, the tape in question is currently said to be doing the rounds on the Internet while Vivica has apparently also alerted a policeman friend and is doing her best to prevent it from leaking to mainstream media. In conclusion, as I always like to say, if you're going to perform oral sex on a guy, always check for hidden camera phones. It doesn't help to be sober, either. Wouldn't you agree?

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